What to ask a prospective therapist about Christian Counseling in Durham, NC

You already know you are in the Bible belt, but what's the vibe here in Christian circles in Durham, NC? Even that depends on what type of Christian community you might be looking for in Durham. One thing is for certain, there is no shortage of churches in this area.  You can likely find every denomination you know and even those that make you say, hmm never heard of that. Durham has some of everything, from traditional churches with the steeple to go with it, to the small country church that you were sure no longer existed. And then you have “coffee shop” churches, church plants, and other forms of spiritual community. The point is, there’s bound to be a Christian Counselor floating around somewhere and a church might be a natural place to inquire. That may even feel like an extra step. But imagine asking around the communities you are already a part of. You may be surprised at what resources you can pool. But still, you're thinking, “what kind of Christian Counselor is this?” And you know what? That's a really good question to ask.

But yea, how do you know? If you're remotely curious, then just ask. (now don’t try to turn it all into everything about the therapist and dig all deep, but do know that it is perfectly normal to be curious and see how your therapist responds.) You see that many therapists offer a free initial consultation. Use that to your advantage by bringing your own questions with you. I love it when prospective clients ask questions about my style, who I am and how I work with them to get the outcomes they seek, so if you book your free 15-minute consultation with me, please don’t be shy. If there’s something I can’t answer or don’t know, I’ll be honest about that.  Because Christian Counseling in Durham, NC is plentiful, it can help to ask your prospective therapist a few questions so that you can see if they are a good fit for your needs. Below you can find a few questions to help get you started just in case you’re thinking “I have no idea what to ask.”

Questions to ask a Christian Counselor in Durham, NC

Do you have a particular religious affiliation and how does that impact your counseling with clients?

All therapists are trained in cultural humility and religion is a part of that. I do not impose my beliefs on any of my clients including at times when our faith identity might be shared. It is important to me not to assume we believe the same way even if we are both Christian. More importantly, when you come to therapy the work we do is about you. Having an understanding of your faith provides me with a language to understand and facilitate our conversation, but you are in the driver’s seat and I will make every effort not to make assumptions. Many clients who are seeking Christian Counseling with me are actually comforted by the shared language we may have in discussing their wellness journey and how their faith impacts that.

Do you affirm people of all identities in your Christian counseling office?

Feel free to be specific if there’s a particular identity that is central to who you are. Let’s be very clear that American Christianity does have its fair share of theological harms that have been weaponized against the least of these. Those that Jesus loved and would have dined with. Think about what you are looking for and see how their answer lands with your own convictions. I believe that all people are created in the image of God. I believe that God sits on the margins with those society often casts out. As a Black Therapist who holds several marginalized identities, it is very important to me that all people feel welcome, affirmed, and validated.

If you disagree with my theological convictions how will you handle that in our counseling sessions?

For me, I always want my clients to know that my convictions are not a license to judge anyone and that I believe in holding unconditional positive regard for all of my clients irrespective of our differences. I want my clients to know that they may experience me being curious with them about various beliefs or challenging their thinking, but I would only do that if it was a place where I  observe that a particular belief is causing harm to you or someone else, or if you invite or desire for me to journey with you in this way.

What’s the difference between talking to you, a Christian counselor and talking to my pastor?

THIS question right here 👏🏾 it’s a must. More on this topic in a few weeks, be on the lookout for upcoming blogs where I will address this in more detail. But spoiler alert: therapy is not the same as talking to your pastor. For one thing, therapists are ethically bound to hold confidentiality and this is extremely important in creating a safe space to freely explore your mental health and wellness concerns.

Can we pray together in our counseling sessions?

Again, all of these questions are based on what is important to you. In my work as a Christian Counselor in Durham NC, I follow my clients’ lead. Some want to pray and others don't. It’s still a sacred space and a sacred journey whether we pray together or not. I do pray for all of my clients in my preparation and orientation toward this healing work we do together. However, I will never force a client to pray or impose my beliefs or spiritual practices on anyone. If being able to pray in session with your therapist is something you value and it feels critical to your comfort, safety, and progress in your work together, then, I’d encourage you to let the therapist know that and inquire if they are okay with that (We’ll talk about this more in another post too, so if you enjoy reading these blogs you now have at least 2 more to stay on the lookout for).

This list is not exhaustive. Follow your wisdom and trust God to guide you. 

Now that you have some ideas about how to use your free consultation time when seeking a Christian Counselor in Durham, NC, go ahead and get the ball rolling. You want to put some feet on your prayers and take a step toward your wellness. You have faith and you need to know that seeking therapy as a support does not make you a bad Christian. I can help with that. Call me at (919)213.9894 to schedule your free 15-minute consultation today. You can also fill out the Contact Me form if you’d prefer that over a phone call. Reaching out to a therapist can be rough, I hope in reading this you feel supported on your journey to finding your great-fit, Black Therapist in Durham, NC. If we discover that we are not the best fit, then let me get you the names of a few folks that might be. Let me bring services to you anywhere you are with teletherapy in North Carolina. 

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